Preparation for Homecoming

It's been such a long time since the last post! Joe has been home on his 2 week leave and we had such a great time relaxing and being a family. We got to see a few friends and spend some time together, just Joe and I, in Des Moines. Clare did great! She had no hesistations (not surprising) with him and warmed up to him right away. It didn't phase her that he was here or even when he left. Probably because it was a short amount of time. But it gave us a glimpse of what life will be like upon his return home.

It will be so different with Joe not having school or training to attend. He'll only be working which means he'll be able to be home more with us! (Something I'm getting anxious about as I've been so used to him being gone- Please pray!!!) The goodbye was much easier this time knowing he'll only be home in a matter of a couple months.

Today I am attending a "Yellow Ribbon" event that will contain information about the homecoming process and reintegration back into family life for my soldier. They usually hold these meetings about one month before they arrive home....Joe's almost home! I will post more info about dates and ceremonies once I receive it.

It's so crazy to think how quickly this deployment has gone, but I am so thankful! We've made it. I made it! As a single mom who has amazing friends and family who've helped along the way, I couldn't have done it with any of you!!!!

I also wanted to let you know that if you were planning on sending Joe a package, the last date to mail anything is JUNE 15. Here is his address again:

Joseph Whalen
832 EN CO 2-34 IBCT
Bagram Airfield
APO AE 09354

Counting down the days...

So, my schedule at this point in our Afghan adventure has come to this: -Way too early.....stop and think why am I awake and moving? -Two hours later.....finally wake up enough to be hungry! -Two minutes after that.....ponder to myself how Alicia and Clare are doing? -30 seconds after that.....wonder if they'll be laughing or crying today without daddy there to encourage them both? -10 seconds after that.....reassure myself that God has them and everything under wraps and not to worry about a thing!! -Add anywhere between 6-16 hours of "work" (depends on if you love what you do) ..........there you have my typical day, give or take some critical sarcasm sent to my higher chain of command for their brilliance, or poking fun at some of my boys just because... I have to admit this post will seem random at most, but it's what is in my head for the time being. I'm pretty anxious for leave, and all around burnt out on this country, cause, and local population on and off of base here. I'm fed up with people being either just plain lazy, unintelligent(not uninformed), or outright obnoxious because they can be. I've been told by a few here,...okay more than a few that I am in need of a break, holiday, time away, for my leave to begin....got it...thanks guys! See how random this post is to where I even forgot what I had originally intended to say or get off my chest. No worries, I pray this finds you all well and living your lives! Ps. Due to me thinking we're not getting paid at all for workdays after the 8Th of April.....I will not be connected to the unbearably slow Internet any longer to upload

More Random and Recent Pictures from Afghanistan Encounters

Automatic Shotgun....... (shivers)

Afghani everyday hospitality

"I get by with a little help from my friends!"....thank-you Beatles and the ANP!

"Look out LT has an RPG, and he knows how to use it!"

Out on a mountainside stroll

Love you all, hope you're well and getting plenty of good sleep knowing that me and the boys are out doing what needs done!!

Ps. Miss you all, and can't wait to be back in a place that makes much more sense than here!

Pictures from Afar

Thought I'd share some of the views that I've taken in recently...

"This is how you navigate through traffic little brother..."

Afghani Sunrise

Foggy morning mission

Partnering with the French and Afghan National Army (ANA)

Me...well, being me and getting a lift from one of our Afghan National Police (ANP) friends!!!

LOVE YOU ALL, MORE PICTURES TO COME AS THE INTERNET ALLOWS!!!!

Skype sucks, ....here's to a faithfully devoted wife o' mine!

So, last night was the first time in about a month that I've got to see my lovely bride and our little Irish blessing...or at least through video.....on my DVD of love that is! SKYPE officially sucks worse than Bissle, Hoover, and Electrolux combined.....or it could just be my satellite Internet connection..hmmm! Enough of a rant for now.

It was great to see my little Clare growing up so big and so happy to just be spending time Alicia. She's definitely going to break my heart when I come home, that's for sure! Along those same lines I've been worried lately of how I will affect her, coming home...whelp gotta go and gone again for who knows how long to her. Do toddler's see their time differently? Is one week to us like a month to them, how about a month.....a year? I just want her to remember me as I am, a daddy who loves and cherishes the very fact that she exists, and may someday tell me that she loves me too.

I don't know how many times in my life, in church, in countless conversations across the globe that I've heard time and again about how we are God's children and he wants nothing more than the opportunity to show us His undying love. We being the children choose our path some go astray, some gather close to God, and others waver; but all make a choice of whether to embrace His love, and devote it in return or not. It AMAZES me that I now truly have this comprehension of that type of love, not a complete and full understanding, but some minute ability to relate to it.

Past this new epiphany, I still have anxiety about returning home and not knowing how to treat this little grown up wonder that now walks, talks, and knows only mommy and a few others that give of their time to contribute to her well being thus far. I've heard that she has my personality though, and have nothing to worry about, that she'll warm right up to any guy. Clarebear we'll have to work on this later in life, but I'm okay with you being that way right now! Even if it's just for daddy's sake!

In the end, all my worry will be for not. I can't help but to ponder, pray and give it up just as quick as it came. Love you my ladies, daddy will be home here in no time! To anyone else who reads these words, please know that you too are loved, appreciated, and missed as well. Can't wait to spend some quality time as a normal everyday guy with the lot of you too!!

Hope this finds you well.

In less than 2 months...

In less than 2 months Joe will be home for 15 days of leave. I can't believe it's going to happen in less than 60 days!

The end is in sight and my heart is lighter knowing that soon we'll have the completion to our family here in our arms. Clare needs her daddy. She's becoming so active and aware of her surroundings now. He's going to love playing with her, reading her books, and just watching her react to the world around her.

Things I'm looking foward to: (in no particular order)
1. Going to church as a family.
2. Having another adult in the house.
3. Sleeping in.
4. Having a date night.
5. Clare- Having daddy kiss her goodnight/goodmorning and so much more!
6. Having a personal chauffeur.

Things I'm not looking foward to: (let's be honest...)
1. More dirty clothes to launder.
2. Snoring.
3. Screamer/heavy metal music.
4. Having to buy more milk.
Hahaahaa!

Anyways, I'm so excited, it can't come soon enough. Thankfully, I have much planned between now and then, time will just fly like it already has.
Here's a few recent pics of sweet Clare. She's such a little Miss and so full of life! I ended up cutting her bangs because they were in her eyes. Joe was a little disappointed that he didn't get to cut her hair since he is Barber Joe. Clare is 13 months now, walking really well, and says "mama" too!

reading...

So I'm reading this book called, The Me I Want To Be by John Ortberg and today I read something that I want to share. It's out of the section called, "The Gift of Belonging" and it focuses on family. The first sentence says,
"When I am loved, I belong to someone and they belong to me." - I just LOVE that. And it totally applies to our deep friendships too.

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"One day God says to the angels, "I have an idea. I am going to create the family."

An angel asks, "What is it?"

"I am very excited about this idea," God says. "Of course, I am excited about all my ideas.  One of the great things about being God is you just never have a bad idea--but this one is special. Family is going to be the way I connect people in love. It will work like this. Adult people will sign up to take care of a tiny little stranger."

"Are they going to get paid?" the angel asks.

"No, that little stranger is actually going to cost them a lot of money.  Not only that, but the little stranger won't even be able to talk at first.  It will just cry and scream, and you will have to guess why.  It will make you lose sleep.  It will make messes all the time that you have to clean up.  It will be utterly vulnerable.  You have to watch that kid twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.  Then when it's two, that little stranger will be able to say words like, "no" and "mine", and it will throw tantrums.  And then I am thinking about inventing puberty.  I am not sure about that one yet, but if I do, they will get these strange things called hormones that will go crazy.  Odd things will happen to their bodies.  They will get pimples, their voices will crack, and their limbic systems will melt down.  Then they will grow up, and just when they are mature and beautiful and interesting and able to contribute, they will move away.  That's the idea.  What do you all think?"

The angels shuffle around and look at their feet. Who's going to tell him? they think. Lord, who would sign up for that? Why would they do it?

Here is where God really gets excited.  "They won't even know why.  They will just look at that little body, those little hands and feet, and they will think that this tiny little stranger is beautiful, even though he looks like every other baby and all babies look like Winston Churchill.  Then one day that little stranger will smile at them, and they will think they have won the lottery.  That little stranger will say 'Dada' and 'Mama' but it will say 'Dada' first because daddies are just so self-sacrificial and noble and...how I love them.  But moms are good too.  So it will say 'Dada' and 'Mama' and then those little arms and hands will open and reach out and wrap around that neck, and it is going to feel to that grown up for the first time now they understand why arms and hands were created.
"What it's really all about is grace.
"Children, the new generation, will learn that they are prized and belong before they have ever done a single thing to earn it.  The old generation will learn that when they give, they will receive.  When they give the most, they will receive the most.
"And then one day I will tell them, Human race, I am your Father.  You are my daughter, you are my son.
"They will get it and they will be undone."

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I am loved. And so are you!

the blues...

So far, I've been doing fine. Doing the daily routines and moving forward. Just tonight, I was watching a show about a young couple who just had a baby and they were describing their life before the little one came. And it just reminded me of the fun times Joe and I had together before Clarebear. Not that we haven't had fun times since, but he's been gone almost her whole little life. So the time we did have together to just have fun, was before she was born. Anyways, it just made me miss him so badly.

It's in those moments when I just ask God to let him have a chance to call, or send me a quick email, or even log on to chat. But God always knows what I need. He reminded me that he is faithful and loves me. That I am never alone. He reminded me that He's with Joe too. And that His timing is perfect.

As I look into the future, Joe's return still seems so far away. We're halfway done! I can't comprehend it right now because I'm just trying to get through it day by day. But every time someone asks me when Joe is supposed to be home, I say, "The end of July." And then they say, "For good?". Of course, I don't know that. He's planning on retiring so we have about 13 or so more years in. I'm assuming he'll be deployed again. But it also makes me think, what will the next deployment be like?

We were only married 5 months before he was deployed to Irag in 2004. I had 1 year of school left, we lived in a one bedroom apartment with no kids or kitties. Now, we've got a house, a sweet baby girl, and a kitty (One kitty? = Long story for another post.) I'm working part-time and trying my hardest to just keep everything manageable as a single parent. I have friends that help out, sitters who I've grown to love, a great set of neighbors who dig me out of the steep snowdrifts, and a wonderful family doctor who answers ALL of my questions.

Next weekend, I will be attending a conference that will help me focus on Joe's homecoming and us becoming a family at home again. Clare will be home with Nonna, so that I can fully focus and have a weekend away from home. (Thank you ahead of time Nonna!)

Ahh...only a few more months...and then he'll be home. We're on the other half of the deployment now! Joe will be coming home for a 2-week leave toward the end of April. He's asked me several times to not plan anything because he wants to just relax with me and Clare.....Done and Done. Although, there might be just a teensy tiny to-do list for him. Just to remind him how much he's needed at home.

Clare's 1 Year Birthday

Seriously, time flies. And when people told me that kids grow fast, wow, they weren't kidding. Just a week before her birthday, Clare took some of her first steps. As I was holding her hand and walking with her, I marveled at how much she has grown over this year. After she was born, the thought of being a mom still seemed so foreign. I struggled every day...and every night. But, as the new day would dawn, I'd take a deep breath and know that it was going to be okay. The phrase that I repeated to myself was, "It's only for a season." Whether it was issues with nursing, or random naps, or night wakings, I knew that it wasn't going to last her entire life. And I knew then and know now, that the Lord is my shepherd. He leads me through these times with love, giving me the patience and the strength. So, after a year, I can now say I am more confident, more relaxed, more in awe of God's creation of life. And as I look toward this next year, more excited.

This past Saturday, we celebrated Clare's birthday. The day started out with a wonderful breakfast with Chris, Sabrina, and Samantha Thode. Of course, Samantha and Clare just wanted to play. And the breakfast was delicious. Then we picked up the Princess cupcakes at Scratch Bakery in Cedar Falls. After that, we headed home and waited until Nonna, Papa, and Uncle Tim arrived. Of course, as soon as Nonna walked in the door, Clare immediately wanted her to hold her. After that, there was no going back to Mamma. Man, was I jealous. But I figured it's just for the weekend and then I get her back! Ha!
Anyways, thanks to Uncle Luke who took some great pictures of Clare's first cupcake experience! Enjoy!

Clare's Birthday Present- Plastic Balls & Kiddie Pool

 

Clare received $1 and she wouldn't let that thing go!



Clare LOVED her cupcake! Yummy!

 

Time flies when you're away...

It seems like only yesterday that I was kissing my wife and little girl goodbye in Keokuk, Iowa. Tearfully boarding the bus to leave for our gearing up to get over and join the fight in Afghanistan. Now here it is mere months later and that faithful wife and beautiful little girl are still there only older and more mature. The wife that I left won't be the same one I return to, just as in the husband that left here won't be the same one returning, and the little girl.....won't be so little anymore.

I'm so very proud of Alicia in her great effort to raise our daughter in a caring, loving, protected environment. She'd done such a great job of it, and all by her lonesome.....with the help of friends of course, but without daddy there has got to be tough. Our little wonder has grown so very much since I've physically laid eyes on her, I can only imagine what it's going to be/feel like when I get to see them both again, face to face.

July 2010

January 2011

She'll be a little lady before I know it, walking, talking, and babbling on about everything that's new in her world. I can't wait to be a part of their lives once again!

Starting our own little family has had me thinking about my family and where I came from, how I was raised, and what my mom & dad taught me in the years past growing up and all. I get to hear from my mom all the time about how much she enjoys seeing what we've done, become, and made for ourselves...but not so much from dad.

My father passed away in September of 08' and I've often wondered what he might think about the world that we live in today, our family, and if what I've accomplished in life might have made him proud to call me his son. I've gone so far in these thoughts as to write to his old email address, knowing full well that it won't go through, and he won't be reading them, but just to get out all of those thoughts, feelings, and most likely shared frustrations about the times we live in. I thought about compliling them and calling it Emails to Heaven.....but thought it'd be too cheesy...who knows.

I know one thing, I'm so very thankful for every person that has entered my life, and if I haven't told you lately, I appreciate you! I pray this finds you all well!

LT & THE BOYS

I'd like to think of myself as a lucky guy, for having a great bunch of guys to roll around with in the Stan. All the more lucky cause of my wonderful wife holding her own and raising our beautiful little girl! I don't think I've told any of them just how much I really appreciate them!

Below are some pictures past and present, of my boys, and my girls......



Where all the magic happens....... Cards game mid-training at FLW,MO.


AJ and Derrty having fun w/the ANP...Catching our breath and a view

My amazing wife and our beautiful Christmas gift this year!



Scarfy, scarf, scarf, scarf!!!!


Cave dwelling and just taking it all in......

Love you all, and see you sometime in late April...till then stay tuned for more pictures and stories from afar.