the blues...

So far, I've been doing fine. Doing the daily routines and moving forward. Just tonight, I was watching a show about a young couple who just had a baby and they were describing their life before the little one came. And it just reminded me of the fun times Joe and I had together before Clarebear. Not that we haven't had fun times since, but he's been gone almost her whole little life. So the time we did have together to just have fun, was before she was born. Anyways, it just made me miss him so badly.

It's in those moments when I just ask God to let him have a chance to call, or send me a quick email, or even log on to chat. But God always knows what I need. He reminded me that he is faithful and loves me. That I am never alone. He reminded me that He's with Joe too. And that His timing is perfect.

As I look into the future, Joe's return still seems so far away. We're halfway done! I can't comprehend it right now because I'm just trying to get through it day by day. But every time someone asks me when Joe is supposed to be home, I say, "The end of July." And then they say, "For good?". Of course, I don't know that. He's planning on retiring so we have about 13 or so more years in. I'm assuming he'll be deployed again. But it also makes me think, what will the next deployment be like?

We were only married 5 months before he was deployed to Irag in 2004. I had 1 year of school left, we lived in a one bedroom apartment with no kids or kitties. Now, we've got a house, a sweet baby girl, and a kitty (One kitty? = Long story for another post.) I'm working part-time and trying my hardest to just keep everything manageable as a single parent. I have friends that help out, sitters who I've grown to love, a great set of neighbors who dig me out of the steep snowdrifts, and a wonderful family doctor who answers ALL of my questions.

Next weekend, I will be attending a conference that will help me focus on Joe's homecoming and us becoming a family at home again. Clare will be home with Nonna, so that I can fully focus and have a weekend away from home. (Thank you ahead of time Nonna!)

Ahh...only a few more months...and then he'll be home. We're on the other half of the deployment now! Joe will be coming home for a 2-week leave toward the end of April. He's asked me several times to not plan anything because he wants to just relax with me and Clare.....Done and Done. Although, there might be just a teensy tiny to-do list for him. Just to remind him how much he's needed at home.